New elusive dating trend banksying is here, and it makes ghosting look polite

You know that feeling when someone slowly pulls away, but they don’t really say anything? Not a fight, not a breakup, just… distance? That’s what people are starting to call Banksying . It’s quiet. It’s slow. And it can leave you more confused than any big blowout ever could.

So here’s the deal. The term comes from Banksy, the street artist who creates something bold and emotional… then vanishes. No announcement. No name. Just a mark left behind. People are now using that idea to explain a kind of breakup where one person emotionally checks out of the relationship, long before they actually leave it.

You might still be talking, maybe even sharing meals or texts. But something’s off. They aren’t really with you anymore. They’re there, but not present. And when the breakup finally happens? They’re weirdly okay. Like they’ve already moved on. Because the truth is they probably have. Internally, at least.

It doesn’t always come from a bad place. A lot of the time, the person who’s “Banksying” doesn’t want to hurt you. They’re scared of confrontation, or they’ve been unhappy for so long that fading out feels easier than facing the truth out loud. Some people may not even realize they’re doing it.

But here’s the thing: It can mess you up. Because when someone pulls away that slowly, you start questioning everything. Did you do something wrong? Was there a sign you missed? Why didn’t they just say something? The silence makes it worse. You’re left trying to solve a puzzle that only they could explain, and they’re already gone.

It’s different from ghosting. Ghosting is cold, quick, and sharp. Banksying is soft but no less painful. The person is technically “still around,” but emotionally, they’ve already left the room.

The worst part? When the breakup finally comes, they might seem totally fine. Meanwhile, you’re still in shock. And that feels unfair, because while you were still loving them, they were packing up their feelings and slowly locking the door behind them.

So what do you do?
If something starts to feel off, trust your gut. Bring it up, gently. Ask the hard questions early. Even if you’re scared of the answer, it’s better than slowly drowning in silence. And if you’re the one doing the Banksying, pulling away because it feels easier than being honest, pause. Think. Wouldn’t you want someone to be clear with you? To give you a full goodbye instead of a silent exit?

Breakups are tough. But being left in the dark? That stays with you.

So yeah, Banksying might feel like the gentler way out. But the truth is, clarity real, hard, honest words are always kinder in the long run.